LIST OF DEMANDS:

  1. A formalized apology from the Government in the form of an accessible but still "out there" pyschedelic rock song which we will inherit full creative rights and royalties to.
  2. The immediate resignation of all CEOs and the installation of M'Grasker as the the monolithic CEO of the Galaxy.
  3. A full pardon for any and all illegal acts carried out by the band M'Grasker and it's registered agents in pursuit of their interests.
  4. The dissolution of the following musical acts: Anyone Who Has Ever Wronged Us
  5. Funding on the order of $69,420,000 to be used in the creation of content deemed necessary by the band M'Grasker.
  6. Free shipping and handling of all M'Grasker merchandise and communiques by all major shipping companies.
  7. Registration of M'Grasker Publishing House Unlimited as a tax exempt organization.
  8. Immediate worldwide adoption of the M'Graskian Calendar.
  9. Replacement of all bibles everywhere with copies of Frank Herbert's seminal masterpiece Dune.
  10. 420 lbs of lukewarm ham separated into 1 lb ziplock bags.
  11. A man-sized body suit full of spiders.
  12. No more war.
  13. There are too many different names for colours. Let's simplify to red, blue and green as the only colours.
  14. People should have a third leg.
  15. All NBA referees are now bears.
  16. E-mail should now be referred to as mail. Regular mail is now called E-mail.
  17. If you haven't had a kid by the time you're 30, that's ok.
  18. All regional anthems must be replaced by a M'Grasker track of the local's choosing.
  19. No one may mention or discuss the band M'Grasker.
  20. All websites must contain a hidden link to mgrasker.com.
  21. Using the internet to listen to M'Grasker must be free.
  22. All dreams must involve M'Grasker.
  23. Everyone's bedtime must be 4:20 PM or 4:20 AM.
  24. The value of pi is 3.141569, something happened in the year 2018 (human time [wrong]) that made this no longer hold true in the common domains.
  25. All figures for science and math must be 69% or 420% accurate. For instance "420 == 709.8" and "420 == 1764" are equally valid statements.
  26. No more birthday parties.
  27. Everything, and yet nothing.
  28. This website is now the mandatory homepage for all Internet browsers.
  29. 1 good dog.
  30. Yearly crowd-sourced funding for mgraskopedia.club
  31. The respect we deserve.
  32. 11 small red guitar picks.
  33. A free dome.
  34. Some cold hard cash.
  35. Brondo caller must call Brondo Listener regularly.
  36. The sweet taste of success.
  37. The bitter taste of crippling defeat.
  38. Pandora's Gilded Goijbox.
  39. The dissolution of time, itself.
  40. A worthy adversary.
  41. Everyone must acknowledge our infinite kindness.
  42. The adoption of Scienetics into the standard curriculum.
  43. Maybe a little war.
  44. Reduce emissions 420% by the year 2069.
  45. Increase profits 69% in the next 420 seconds.
  46. A single well-rolled magoije.
  47. The remains of Phineas Gage, pioneer of dome exploration.
  48. Release the Kujaku Cut.
  49. Unseal the confidential Avro Arrow files.
  50. Seal them right back up again.
  51. A sturdy soapbox.
  52. The Ark of the Convenient.
  53. Prehumous acknowledgement that M'Grasker is the greatest band that ever was, or will be.
  54. The original Golden Record from Voyager 1.
  55. A lightly scratched copy of the Golden Record from the top-secret Voyager 69.
  56. An assured spot in the fiery bowels of Hell.
  57. A well cooked meal at your mom's house.
  58. For Spicediver to look us directly in the eyes.
  59. Forgiveness for our transgressions.
  60. A couple packs of guitar strings.
  61. Acknowledgement of our bravery.
  62. A tale as old as time.
  63. 3 to 4 inhabitable planets.
  64. A perpetual lotion machine.
  65. A sizeable inheritance.
  66. Room to grow.
  67. The keys to the internet.
  68. A Tim machine.
  69. 69 more demands.